It's only recently I've had 3 life-threatening, serious falls which have knocked me physically and emotionally.
It doesn't take a serious, life threatening fall/accident to affect your confidence.
It could be anything from your horse spooking, refusing, bolting, bucking, rearing...
I was competing my horse (who is now retired) at a competition, at the penultimate fence, he was unable to get his feet under him and I ended up in the public viewing gallery with him on top of me. After hours of scans and tests I was allowed back home on the agreement that for a week I wouldn't do anything stimulating as I'd knocked my head - badly. No reading, no writing, no TV no nothing.
In my heart I knew if I didn't get back on a horse soon, I wouldn't get back on at all. So, two days after being strapped down in hospital on a spinal board, against the doctors orders and against my mum's wishes, I decided to compete at a show I'd qualified for (we won our class but that's not the point!)
People have different ways of dealing with confidence issues, for some people getting back on as soon as possible is the best way of dealing with a confidence knock, and for others taking some time off is more effective.
For years I had issues with indoor arenas, and it was only when I moved to a yard where my trainer didn't want to teach in the pouring rain outdoors that I HAD to go indoors again. The more I did it, the less of an issue it was.
Last month I had two serious accidents in the space of a week.
(Bentley vertically reared and I smashed my back on the arena fence and a week after Aragorn got a pole stuck between his legs whilst jumping and landed on me) - If you knew Bentley you'd know that, more likely than not he'd have at least 2 bucks and a rear whilst warming him up and I'd usually ignore it and carry on. The same with jumping, if I fell off, i'd get back on and do it again. But it did knock my confidence. I started to panic when I got to the part of arena Bentley reared up in, and if Aragorn knocked a pole i'd just say "that's enough jumping today" - There's no shame or embarrassment in admitting when something's knocked your confidence, don't ever feel like a problem isn't big enough to be a problem.
If your confidence has taken a real knock, don't feel like you have to rush yourself to overcome the said problem to prove to yourself and others that "I can do it" - It doesn't matter how slow you take it, because confidence is shattered in seconds but takes weeks, months even years to build.
Don't feel under any sort of pressure to get back on or do something you don't feel confident enough or ready to do, because not only will your horse sense your uncertainty, you will also not fully enjoy your achievements!
Don't look at riding as a constant competition between others, it doesn't matter how big someone else is jumping or how fantastic someone else's medium trot is, set your own, achievable goals and feel proud of them!
- Find a trainer you trust - one that gives you confidence and doesn't try to rush you or your horse
- Take your time! You have all the time in the world
- Go back to basics - Go back to doing what makes you and your horse confidence, regain your trust in each other before tackling problems and progressing
- Breathe - We are all guilty of not breathing when something causes us to worry!
- Set your own achievable goals - Sometimes having things to aim for gives us focus, meaning we worry less!
- Enjoy yourself - There is nothing wrong with taking a step back and thinking "this is scaring me and I'm not enjoying myself anymore"
Have fun and stay safe!
